Archive for April, 2012

The Booger

I know those with kids will probably know exactly where I’m ranting from regarding those boogers that you can never get rid of. 

On a recent grocery shopping excursion with my 3yr. old daughter she blessed me with the sight of her dislodging a pea-sized booger from her nose.  Now, I have told my children repeatedly that doing this, especially in front of me,  is quite gross.  They in turn, think it’s hilarious to chase me through the house with one of these on their fingers. 

Now  I can handle just about anything.  After working in health-care and preforming tests on anything that can come out of a human body I always had no issues except one.  Even then, I could not stand any type of nasal or bronchial specimen. 

So imagine my horror at seeing The Great Green Boogie on her finger while an evil little grin spread across her face  chanting  “I have a boogie”.  Of course I had only one wet wipe left in my purse at the time and my daughter is holding her prize up for everyone to see.  I give her the wipe, tell her to get rid of it and think the deed is done.  WRONG.  I found the boogie today as I was putting yesterday’s clothes in the wash.  It was placed on the back of my shirt, probably during one of my daughter’s “sweet” little hugs  received  before we left the grocery store.  

Knowing that I carried this disgusting little thing around with me all afternoon let’s me know that all the times I embarrassed and grossed my own mother out growing up are coming back to bite me in the A$#.  So as Mother’s Day approaches remember all those awful things you did and the next time you think the old lady has gone around the bend, that really, can you blame her?  


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Since I married my husband over 10 years ago I have made huge progress with him. He shocked me in the beginning of our marriage when we bought our first house together. I wanted to re-paint some rooms and he suggested we hire painters. WHAT?? PAINTERS? No way was I going to waste money on people doing something I learned to do before I was 12.

Of course I grew up in a town and a family that basically considered every child a new member of the work force. I learned to paint, wallpaper, tile , mow, do laundry, check oil, etc… all before my 18th birthday. My friends growing up, all knew how to do the same things, and those whose family owned land learned also how to build fence, vaccinate livestock, herd cattle, clip horns etc… So imagine my shock at the suggestion we hire people for things I’ve done since grade school.

He has also made leaps in the culinary tastes of my southern heritage. He now can no longer eat anything without a liberal dose of hot sauce and no longer turns his nose up at deep fried, heavy carb concoctions that arrive at my family gatherings.

So now when I hear him saying things like “I can fix it” or “this needs tobasco” I know that after the Zombie Apocalypse he may just make it. So for all of those who grew up learning at an early age that the more fried something is the better it will taste and how to build awesome forts complete with finishing touches. Know that we have a better than average shot of making it and if we can’t out run them, all that greasy food we’ve eaten will probably make us really yummy!

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Of An Age…

My son has come to an age  (and attitude) that makes me want to wring his neck on a daily basis.  He feels that he has accumulated a vast array of knowledge that surpasses that of an average person like myself.  During a recent spelling review of the word LEAPT I was told I was pronouncing it wrong.  “It is actually pronounced LEAPED Mom” my son informed me.  This was of course after I was told earlier that I was using the word HOLE wrong in a sentence and that was why he spelled it as WHOLE.  My sentence:  The rabbit went down a hole.  

So, after he corrected me on LEAPT, I asked him “Who do you think has been saying this word longer and knows how to spell it?  Me or You?”.  And this is where I really wanted to scream; he actually sat back and THOUGHT about it before grudgingly admitting “You”.  AAGGHH!!!!!  So I trudge on today knowing that I’m considered  less of an imbecile than yesterday by my 7 year old. 

Looking back at my own childhood I realize it will only get worse from here, so eventually I will probably turn into the drooling, nervous eye twitching, babbling idiot my son already thinks I am.  At least I got that to look forward to.

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A Day of Contradictions

You know when your husband is just being difficult. Well today was one of those days.  I would suggest one thing he would suggest another.  It drove me nuts all day.  When he acts like this it always brings to mind one of my favorite quotes:  ‘I love to garden it helps with hiding the bodies’.  I think next year I need to expand my garden plot to accommodate.

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My 3 year old daughter is potty trained, but as all you Mom’s know the hinney wipe is still in the development stage.  She normally yells from the potty “I poopoo!!”, we come in and she’s sitting on the potty waiting for us.  Well today I was treated to a different sight.  After the yell I arrived at the bathroom to my daughter bent over touching her toes with the shinny hinney aimed directly at me.  If that wasn’t enough she decided to wiggle it at the same time. 

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Please Talk

I have begun to reconnect with people I haven’t talked to in some time.  It brings a smile to my face every time I hear a voice I haven’t heard in years.  We get so caught up life and the ease of passing status pages back and forth that we forget how uplifting it is just to listen to a friend’s voice. 

I have never regretted anything more than delaying a return phone call to a dear friend.  The  little things kept getting in the way and by the time I called she was gone.  I never got to tell her how important she was to me and how grateful I was that she was there during the most horrible event of my life, but most of all I regret that I will never hear her contagious laugh again. 

I urge any and all that should read this to TALK to those who have touched your lives past and present.  Words on a screen cannot replace the feeling in the voice of a friend.

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Flying High

It amazes me still how a kid can run fevers for two days of 101 and over and still have enough energy to drive me insane.  I tell him to stay in bed and rest.  He has a TV so he can watch his favorites shows.  I check on him and he is standing on his footboard pretending to surf. 

If I could feel well enough to pseudosurf while running fevers I could rule the world.  It’s true; youth is wasted on the young.

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